Merry Christmas!

I hope that you all had a wonderful Christmas with your families. We stayed in NC this year. My dad came over to spend Christmas with us. I always think it is nice to have a grandparent around to enjoy the children's laughter and excitement about Christmas. It makes it special for all of us.
I am always trying to come up with things to do to make the Christmas season more meaningful for the kids. I guess I'm trying to distract them from the materialism and make it more spiritual, more about the giving and less about the getting. This year we hosted a Happy Birthday Jesus party at our home. We invited our homeschool friends that we don't get to socialize with very often, made a birthday cake and sang "Happy Birthday to Jesus". We decided to make the Jesus portion of the cake white to represent that He was pure and sinless, and the manger portion of the cake chocolate, to represent our "dirty" sin. For a craft we made homemade nativity characters out of wood blocks. They dressed them in scrap fabric, ribbons and tassles and put baby Jesus in a manger of glued together popsicle sticks. It was a blast.
This year along with the homemade theme (wink, wink) we made homemade Christmas cards. Why is it that every year I forget how huge of a project sending out the cards can be? The making of the picture, deciding upon which one to use, how the card will look, actually making or printing a card, addressing all the envelopes, stamping and return addressing and delivering them to the mailbox can be a chore! BUT I still love receiving them in the mail and that is why I go to all the trouble each year, because if even one person enjoys it as much as I do, then it was worth it!
For my other Christmas project I had the girls write Luke 2 as their handwriting assingment each day. I divided it into 1-3 verse sections and they wrote in their best handwriting with a picture to accompany the story for each day. I had no idea how wonderful their art work was going to turn out. This is something that I will keep for them to look back at when the are grown.
As always we contiued our Jesse tree ornament devotion each day leading up to Christmas. We may decide to do another ornament exchange next year for some extra families that would like to participate. (Let me know if you're local and are interested.)
The girls also sang in our Christmas Eve service at church this year. The children's choir prepared three songs, O Come Little Children, Away in a Manger, and Go Tell It On The Mountain. Emily sang a duet with her best friend for a verse of the first song and did a great job. Her eyes sparkle when she sings.
I hope that you found some new ways to celebrate our Saviour's birth this year. If not I hope that I have inspired you to do something different next year. Go to a different church service, drive an alternate route home to take a look at the Christmas lights, spend time with a loved one, snuggle in with some hot chocolate and a Christmas movie that you haven't watched in a while - whatever it is, enjoy it!

sorry for the delay

The pictures are finally posted. Hopefully you will soon have a hard copy in your hands as your Christmas card. If you are planning on mailing a card to us - email me first, as our mailing address has changed from last year.
We love getting your Christmas cards!!!!
jennifershand@bellsouth.net

A week without children

This week I have had to myself. My wonderful inlaws took all four girls for the whole week. We met them in Atlanta last Sunday. They took the kids back to Mississippi with them while John and I came home by ourselves.
The kids were so excited. They had been anticipating this trip for many days. They love time spent with their grandparents.
My biggest concern was Clara Bea. I had a hard time deciding whether or not to send her with the other girls. She is only 4 1/2 months old - I've never left any of the others this early before - but with all things considered, I am tired, crabby and just plain old needed a break! So off she went.
She has done well from the reports I have gotten. She went on formula for this week and seems to be doing just fine. Unfortunately for my mother-in-law she has not been able to break her of waking in the night to eat. Apparently she has been her usual self, requiring every one's attention 100% of the time. Honestly it has been nice for some else to "feel my pain" this week, realizing how demanding she can be - not to mention there are three other children in the mix as well.
This week I have taken full advantage of being by myself! I cleaned the house like it has never been cleaned before. Funny how things stay put afterwards, no one around to mess it up again. I also have worked on some sewing projects, cooking ahead for next week's company, worked on some new zumba routines, got a hair cut, lunch dates with my husband, and even an evening out to the movies! It has been great!
But as much as I have enjoyed it all, I miss my kids!!! The house seems cold and empty. There is no constant noise that seems to buzz at all times. In fact I never knew that I could hear the interstate traffic from inside my house, until this week. I've only had to run the dishwasher once and a trip to the grocery store was way too easy.
So I am anxiously awaiting their return. I am ready for all that is required of me. And I am so thankful for the blessings God has given me.
Thank you Bill and Glenda for a week of peace and rejuvenation!

Family Pictures

This past Sunday we planned to have a photographer meet us at the park for some family pictures. Now experience had taught us that waiting til late fall was best. This way most of the leaves have fallen to the ground with a few left on the trees for the "leaf shot" that I wanted. This proved to be true again.
John had given me the two weeks notice to get the outfits planned. I usually make some hand sewn matching skirts or dresses for the girls but I knew I couldn't produce them that quickly this year. So Old Navy to the rescue. I love this store and was able to find a white shirt for everyone in the family - one stop shopping! We had not done the blue jean / white shirt look yet and I honestly wasn't too sure I would like it, but it turned out great!
The photographer was wonderful and she took some really great shots of everybody. Praise God for a successful day, well behaved children and beautiful weather - couldn't have asked for more.

24 hour day

Yesterday was an eventful 24 hours - one in which my husband was awake for mostly the whole day! I had a couple of naps along the way.
It began at about 1:30 a.m. waking to begin our roadtrip. We decided to leave early in order to avoid rush hour traffic in two large cities: Atlanta and Birmingham. We were on our weekend whirlwind trip thru Nashville. Along the way we met my husband's parents in Birmingham to trade out vehicles with them. We traded our mini van for their full size van with a uhaul in tow, loaded down with furniture for our house. It is only a temporary trade in order to pull the uhaul trailor - I will make an addition trip in 2 weeks to trade back.
Leaving early was great as the kids slept for about the first 4 hours. We stopped and tok our time eating breakfast at Cracker Barrell. Then we had a little more time to kill in Birmingham waiting for John's parents. After a short visit with them we headed north to TN. This was definately the longest drive we have ever taken from Birmingham to Nashville. Pulling a uhaul really slows you down!
Our first stop in TN was to visit John's brother, dad and step mom at his old office. Then we headed to my mom's for dinner and to change. We left all the kids with her and my step dad for the evening to go to a costume party. On route to the party I also had to stop by a friends house for a quick pick up. Finally we got to the party around 9 p.m. central time - mind you we had started our day in eastern time.
We had fun mingling with old friends but were tired and ready to go around 11:30 but NO. We were stuck in the mud!!! We had borrowed my step dad's car to take to the party rather than driving the big van and uhaul around town. Several of the party guests were stuck, the tow truck didn't have a long enough cable to pull us out with so we weren't going anywhere. Fortunately, our dear friends took us back to my mom's house when we arrived around 1 p.m. - a full 24 hours later, since our day had begun.
Many other stories lay in between all of the above events but too many to mention for now. Now I know what a really long day feels like.

Women's retreat

This past weekend I got to enjoy some time away in the beautiful mountains. I went on a women's retreat with some ladies from my church. It was sponsored by the WIC presbytery in the middle NC area. So I also got to meet ladies from other churches in the area. It was a beautiful setting and a much needed time of spiritual renewal. Plus I got to enjoy some girl talk and late nights playing games and just being silly. We are already to planning to go again next year.
I did take Clara Bea with me as I have decided to continue nursing her. I think the stress and responsibility of it all sometimes sets in and becomes overwhelming. She had some long nights before we left but is having to readjust since being home again. She doesn't have the luxury of sleeping with mommy anymore. I've decided that a bottle of formula every now and then is a fine alternative to a happy and less stressed mom. Sometimes when you step away from your life and look at it from a new perspective, things seem clearer. Thank you Lord for giving me answers!

FALL FIELD TRIPS

We have been enjoying the autumn weather with some outdoor field trips this fall. We first visited an apple orchard - one that grows many different kinds. We toured the orchard via wagon ride, got to enjoy the beauty of a sunflower maze, the kids jumped around at the playground, and we stayed to enjoy a picnic lunch. We stopped by the store on our way out for some extra purchases, like apple syrup and an apple crisp mix.
The very next week we went to the Biltmore Estate for their honeschool day activities. The kids learned about time period dress, games the children would have played, plus lawn games, table etiquette, dances, what a tussy mussy was and how it was used, and much more. We had such a wonderful time that we plan to go again in the spring and hopefully take the daddies with us next time.

Decisions

Sometimes I hate making decisions, especially when they greatly affect the lives of my children. Right now I'm contemplating the length of time I will breastfeed Clara Bea. Of course the first thing to consider is her health and the benefits it gives her, second on my list is the expense that formula would add to our budget each week. But right now I'm feeling very selfish in the matter. She doesn't go long between feedings and gets very fussy at about 2 1/2 hours. This is an exhausting task throughout my day. She also still wakes in the night to be fed. The frustrating part is I know she's not starving, She's gaining weight fine but is just demanding of my time. I'm not sure that formula feeding would solve these issues but at least the burden would be shared. My other secret motivation is to "get my body back". It seems like such a small sacrifice that I should be able to give her me for the first year of her life, but for some reason right now it seems endless.

It's hard to blog with one hand

Hey everybody,
Life has been busy around here. Most of the time that I sit down at the computer is a multi-tasking situation. I nurse Clara Bea in one arm and scroll the cursor through my emails and facebook with the other free hand. Therefore I have not had two free hands to type or blog lately. So in a few quick minutes, while the baby is otherwise entertained, I decided to try and catch up on my blogging.
The older girls are well into their school year in the second and fourth grades this year. We are enjoying a new science class every other Thursday, taught by a husband and wife team. They get lots of hands on and crafy science projects to bring home each week. I love it because I drop them off and get an hour and a half break from being the teacher. We enjoyed one field trip to an apple orchard last week and will taking another field trip to the Biltmore Plantation this week. I'm trying to not let opportunities pass me by this year. I wanted to do so many fun things last year but never committed to them, SO this year I'm trying to take advantage of as many as I possibly can.
Clara Bea is now 3 months old. She is so much more alert and interactive. She is however a bit spoiled - likes to be held a lot, and doesn't go long without nursing. She likes for her momma to be very nearby at all times. Last night was her first night to sleep in her crib. She did very well. So this month I am going to work on transitioning her into Kelsey's room. Well techinically it is both Clara and Kelsey's room, but Kelsey has been waiting for her sister to join her for some time now. Kelsey cries at night because she doesn't want to sleep by herself. She for the past year had shared a room with her big sister until we moved into the house. Now the two older girls are sharing again and Kelsey misses the company.
John has picked up an extra job on the nights and weekends. He is waiting tables again at a Lonestar Steakhouse. We are trying to catch up on some medical and other financial debt that we incurred with the move to NC. I am again teaching zumba at the YMCA and also teaching homeschool PE classes. So along with nursing a baby, working outside the home, schooling the children, general housework and mothering, soccer practices, and filling in with music at church we stay on the go. Evenings and bedtime routine are the hardest when John is not around. My 7 yr old has started crying at night because she's scared. She doesn't like it when her older sister falls asleep before her. They do sleep downstairs and she says she's afraid of the spiders - I feel sad for her, don't want her to be scared and yet I get really frustrated with her as well. I am usually nursing when she comes up crying and can't give her my sole attention to lay with her or comfort her. Please pray that her fears will subside.
Well that's it for now - next time I will be sure to include pictures with my post and hopefully it won't be so long in between times!

Four is much harder than three

Time is passing quckly. The days go by so fast, already Clara Bea is 5 weeks old. I thought I would be so much further ahead and ready to take on the world again, but I'm not! I can't seem to get anything done before noon. I've never relied on other people's help this much in my entire life. Right now I feel like I will never be ready to take on our fall schedule with homeschooling, soccer practices, PE and zumba classes, let alone daily household chores.
I thought having child number four would be a breeze, especially with the older girls help. They are helpful especially when they will sit and hold her for 30 minutes while I simply take a shower. But my time is so divided right now. I am nursing so many times in the day, the baby wants to be held all the time, and the others require some of my attention, which they have unfortunately gone without lately. Anna has stepped up to breakfast and lunch duty. She has many times prepared cereal, sandwiches, or spaghettios for her and her sisters. I guess it will take some time to learn a new way of managing the household.
Today some of my girl friends had apparently sensed my stress. They purchased a baby bjorn for me to have. For the fifteen minutes that I used it this afternoon I already was able to accomplish more than I had the whole day before. Clara Bea likes to be with mommy and I guess feels comforted by the bouncing around as I walk from room to room. I think this will be my saving grace in the days to come.
Each mom talks about the transition from one child to two or from two children to three and so on - and which time seemed the most difficult. Well, this is definately my limit! I'm sure it has a lot to do with the fact that I am a bit of a control freak but four children to manage is going to be about all I can handle. Thank you Lord for knowing my capablities and for giving me the grace to handle it all. May I serve You in all that I do.

Moving Day!

We got the keys to the rental house yesterday. We went over to clean which ended up being a huge task. The house had been sitting vacant for some time so there were many cobwebs and dead bugs to vacuum up, not to mention general cleaning of the bathrooms, kitchen, windows, and hard wood floors. Without the help of some very dear friends I could never have gotten it done on my own.
The house seems huge compared to the little apartment we have been living in for the past year. The kids are so excited and were sad that we didn't sleep there last night. They even discovered a secret hide out place behind a full size mirror in the downstairs bathroom. There is a cutout in the wall and they have made it their clubhouse.
Today I continue to pack the apartment. I feel like things are moving in fast forward right now and I can't keep up. I am not quite as prepared for this move as I'd like to be. And when things are out of my control I tend to panic a bit. Like last night when I was up with Clara Bea for a 2a.m. feeding and then couldn't seem to go back to sleep.
I will post pics of the house soon.

4th of July

We celebrated the 4th here two nights in a row. The first evening we met some friends out on the lawn of the YMCA field for a picnic with live music, activities, and a fireworks display. The weather was absolutely perfect, in fact I even got a little chilly when the sun went down.
The second evening we celebrated at a friends house with homemade strawberry icecream and our own NC state approved, Daddy managed, fun-filled, front yard fireworks show - sparklers and all. Today I am a bit exhausted and took almost a three hour nap. I may have overdone the festvities with a week old infant. Oh well, I can sleep this week.

Back to reality

We are home now, adjusting to life with four children. Another blessing - John only had a two day work week this week. He has been able to be at home with us making things a little easier. More evidence of the perfect timing God had for Clara Bea's arrival. Our church friends have set us up with meals coming to our home. My dear friend, who watched our other three children during our stay at the hospital, has outdone herself with gifts and a welcome home banner posted at our door when we arrived at the apartment. She has showered me with love and kindness beyond what I could ever have imagined. THANK YOU!
I am healing quickly and regaining my strength. Clara is nursing well and has already gained four ounces in the two days since we left the hospital. I am adjusting to the night time feedings and am able to at least take one nap during the day to catch up on my sleep. Things are going well.
Yesterday we were awoken by a phone call from my dad. He called to let us know that my granddad had passed away in the night. I was very saddened by the news, partly due to post partum baby blues and also just the same emotion one feels when losing a loved one. My first instinct was to figure out how to get to Illinois for the funeral. By examining the atlas and mapquest we realized it would be a 700 mile trip one way. This was a little too much to handle with a five day old baby. Flights are too expensive with too many stops and connections in between. My last alternative was to drive to Nashville and then ride the rest of the way with my dad. But still a 400 mile trip with a nursing infant was going to be too hard to do by myself. So with the encouragement from my dad, or should I say with strict orders from my dad I have decided not to go. I hate missing this one.
My grandpa Jones was probably my closest grandparent growing up. Even though we lived miles apart, when we were together there was always a close bond between us. I share many great memories of his visits to TN and our visits to IL, the many card games of ukure that were played, and his contagious laughter. I am pleased to know that he now lives in heaven with no more pain here on earth. This day he has waited for for so long.

Shortly after delivery

A couple of hours after delivering Clara Bea and the epideral had worn off I began feeling the same severe pain that brought me to tears in my chest and all the way around into my back. The doctor ran some lab tests on my blood. They treated me with pain meds and malox. By late in the evening the Dr. determined that I had symptoms of preclampsia. Usually the only cure for this is delivery. But that had already happened. So he put a magnesium drip into my iv which made me very sleepy, somewhat like a muscle relaxer would do. Nurses and doctors kept asking me if I had heaaches or blurred vision. Apparently the danger was that I could have a seizure or bleeding on the brain or the liver. My blood was drawn about every four hours to check my blood platlet count. It slowly dropped for the next 24 hours.
The good news? Well, I have looked for all the little positives in what was going on. For one I was catherized for the night - so I didn't have to get up to go to the bathroom every couple of hours - you women know what I'm talking about. I was able to lay in bed with Clara and nurse her as often as she wanted which in the long run made my milk come in much quicker this time. They gave me great drugs, so I felt a little drunk most of the time I had visitors. This made me relax. And I got an extra nights stay at the hospital, giving me a little more alone time with Clara.
Thanks to all who prayed for my recovery. I know my mom was very worried especially since she was miles away. It was a comfort to know many of you were thinking about me.

Contractions or not contractions

We did indeed go into labor that Thursday evening. I was having some contractions throughout the week but mostly a pain in my upper right rib cage area that I was unfamiliar with. I couldn't sleep yet again for the thrid night in a row. I decided to get up and try to time the contractions. The pain never seemed to go away but I could calulate some contractions happening. I tried twice to lay back down but was unsuccessful. I finally got in the shower, thinking it might relax me. But when I got out I decided to wake John.
At 4 a.m. we got the kids up, called our friends, and told them we were on our way to the hospital. I was only dialated to 2cm when I arrived at the hospital. I was really afraid they would send me back home. I got in the jacuzzi tub thinking it might help but it only relaxed me enough to stop my contractions and even took away the upper right quadrant pain I was having. The doctor came in to check me one more time and praise God I had gone to 3, maybe 4cm and I was staying!
I got an epideral, the Doc broke my water, and then the waiting began. I stalled out and they added some potosin to my iv. In a matter of five minutes I went from a 5 to a 10 and it was time to push.
Clara Beatrice Shand came into this world at 1:36 p.m. on Friday afternoon, June 26th. She weighed 6 lbs and measured 18 inches long. She immediately knew how to nurse and latched on well. My two dear friends Kassandra and Kristen were there to witness her birth. Soon after her sisters joined us in the room. They were very excited to finally meet their baby sister.

updates

I have many things to update you about so I decided to do them as individual posts, like chapters in a book. So I will start chronologically with the events of the day for last Thursday.
We had spent the week swimming each day, taking advantage of the pool here at the apartment complex. Each day was spent with a different group of friends, so we had kept pretty busy. We were also in the process of submitting a rental application for a house here in Statesville that we looked at and really liked.
I decided to be up front about our credit issues with the property management agency. We had since realized that this was the reason for our last denial. So I wrote a letter that we submitted with the application, just stating our intent to pay the rent on time and that we were basically a nice family that would take care of the property well. I had even considered puting a picture with it but then thought that might be a little much.
Well, John turned it in on Thursday morning and he was called back within an hour. They called to ask us when we wanted to sign the lease! Praise God! He told me the news early afternoon. We had friends here at the time that had come over to swim. She commented that wouldn't it be great if we got a house and went into labor on the same day. Little did she know...
Along with each victory, there have been set backs. When we returned from the agency after signing the new lease, we decided to stop by the apartment office to notify them of our move out date. When John came walking back to the van I could tell he was frustrated. "What's wrong now?" I asked. The apartment complex has us signed to a lease agreement through the end of August. Apparently when John moved into the apartment it wasn't available until the 5th of June, this making it not a full month, so the 14 month agreement wouldn't end until August.
The property management office has been so kind and very nice in the whole process that we really didn't want to change anything to jeopardize that situation. We are trying to figure out how we will yet again be able to financially manage double months rent for July and August. I give it to you God, trusting that you will provide for us.
One cool little thing that happened yesterday. I got our monthly utility bill in the mail. We have no payment for this month and another $100 credit for next month as well. John had to put down a deposit last summer and we had totally forgotten about it. See the ways in which God provides!

Anna's birthday

We celebrated my oldest daughter's 9th birthday. Her birthday makes it an official year now that we have lived in North Carolina as a family. We pulled the moving truck away from the house last year on the morning of her birthday and traveled to NC. I remember having cake for breakfast that morning, in an empty house, while friends had come over to send us off. This year I wanted to do something special for her since her birthday last year was filled with mixed emotions.
We celebrated at the state park with friends that we now consider our family here in NC. They met us at the swim beach by the lake on Saturday afternoon. It was a busy day for the lake beach with lots of "interesting" people to watch. But the kids had fun playing in the muddy sand and splashing around. We made our way over to a pavilion to cook out hotdogs and of course have cake. The ice cream accidentally got left behind in the freezer at home but was fortunate because it probably would have melted in the cooler in the 95 degree heat.
Can't believe how quickly my daughters are growing. Some days seem like they pass so quickly and then others seem to drag by. I asked Anna if it would be a good present to have her baby sister born on her birthday. She quickly declined, especially since she was already sharing her day with her dad, for her actual birthday happened to fall on Father's Day this year. I guess it is a good thing for them to each have their own special day.
Yes, I'm still waiting. Wondering when Clara's special day will be.

Waiting anxiously

I didn't realize I had let the blogging go for so long. I guess that means I have been busy-ing myself in other ways in order to pass the time more quickly. Because right now I am trying to find things to do in order to distract me from the days that lie ahead of waiting for Clara Beatrice Shand's arrival.
Yes, we have chosen a name! Clara means "bright and shining" and Beatrice means "brings joy". I think this will be the perfect fit for a little girl born in the heat of the summer, our last child to fill our family unit, one who will bring me, her dad and her sisters great joy.
My older two have been enjoying a week of basketball camp at the YMCA,while Kelsey and I have taken advantage of the mornings to spend time together. I have had the "nesting" syndrome for a couple of weeks now. I have cleaned out just about everything imaginable, organized a spot for Clara's things and finished her bassinet bedding. Just a while ago I decided to pack my bag for the hospital - anixous, I know.
Three times this week I have either walked the track or participated in a step class at the Y. I haven't really exercised since I quit teaching a few weeks ago. I am hoping this will result in contractions or at least the baby dropping into the birth canal.
I feel quite huge at this point. I struggle with sleeping through the night, although my husband would probably protest to that. It seems that I have a problem with snoring during my third trimester. But all I know is that I awake from time to time to pee or turn over (which is a challenge in itself) to relieve my back of discomfort.
I'm really ready for her arrival. We and especially the girls are ready to meet their new sister. I went to preregister at the hospital this week. I took Kelsey with me. I was trying to explain to her what we were doing there. She got very excited and said, "Are they going to take baby Clara out today?" She was dissapointed with the boring time spent behind a desk while the registrar asked me a bunch of questions.
So for now, we wait.

Strawberry Pick'n

We went to a nearby strawberry patch to get some yummy strawberries this year. A fruit that is loved by the whole family, so we couldn't resist. I got a few pictures of the activity. I was mostly surprised by how much fun the girls thought it was. It was pretty hot outside, Kelsey had fallen asleep in the van just before we arrived, and with all the recent rain we had to walk through some mud to get to the middle of the patch - but still under these circumstances the girls loved it.

Coming home

This week I am preparing for our trip to Tennessee! It has been almost a year for the girls and I since we moved to NC. I have found that I can go about three months before I start getting seriously homesick. I guess that is why I have traveled back to see most of you so often this year. I am hoping that over this next year the homesickness will fade and that I will be able to at least go a little longer before returning for my fill of Tenessee. I wanted to post the new song "Back to Tenessee" off of the new Hannah Montana album (sung by her dad) but apparently it is still too new or not popular enough to get on playlist.com so I found some others that will suffice for now.
I'm anxious to see all of you in TN and can't wait to spend the week with you this time next week!

Be still my soul

There hasn't been much excitement to report in our household of late, just the routine of life. However I find myself very anxious over the future.
We have worked hard to wrap up our school year with the girls. I gave them their first achievement tests last week. This is a requirement here in NC for homeschoolers. It ended up being a very easy task but something I had stressed over for last couple of months. Now it seems to be "no big deal". Funny how that is always the perspective from hindsight.
Anna finished her soccer season. She played with the Homeschool Dragons team this year, the local team made of homeschoolers here in Iredell County. They had some really great players on the team and were able to make it to the finals but lost the last championship game. Emily has finished her dance lessons for the year and has her recital this coming Saturday night. Will be sure to post pictures afterwards. Kelsey has become a little Mommy around the house. She is constantly playing with baby dolls and stuffed animals, wrapping them in blankets and placing them in the bed or car seat carrier.
The car seat carrier has been my recent project. Before we moved we sold all of our "baby supplies" in a garage sale, not feeling the need to carry it with us, because of course, we were done having children. So now I am scurrying to find some of the necessities that we need to have in place before baby's arrival - like an infant car seat carrier. I know some of you mother's have differenting opinions on second-hand car seats but I feel at peace about it. So I shopped a few consignment stores and finally found the perfect one. The girls were with me and they helped pick it out. It was a group effort in taking it all apart and cleaning it up. Anna washed it, Emily helped me disassemble it and Kelsey made sure all the buckles worked. I used some fabric that a friend gave me to fix it up and am proud of it's new look.

I have had ladies at the YMCA ask me about the colors for the baby's room. I laugh on the inside and think - you have no idea. I usually respond with, "well, this is the fourth daughter and she will be sharing a room with one of her sisters", in order to avoid the reality that this baby doesn't even have a bed to sleep in yet. My nature is to plan ahead. This has been so hard because we literally don't have any room. My thought has been that maybe we would be in a house before she arrives but then again we might still be here in the apartment. We have looked at some more rental houses. One which we really liked, applied for, and then got turned down. Surprisingly I didn't freak out. The Holy Spirit has been my comfort and strength. Sure I was disappointed but I was able to look beyond in faith that the Lord has something out there for us in His perfect timing (it just doesn't seem to be in MY perfect timing).
So I wait. Waiting for this baby's arrival, waiting for peace on the selection of her name, waiting for a house to come along, waiting for school to be done and the pool to be open, waiting on answers about the future. Be still my soul, the Lord is on my side.

Camping fun

We took another attempt at camping. This time we drug along another family to suffer with us. We had a good time together. However the first night it did down pour, leaving everything that wasn't in a tent wet for the next day. The guys had to go buy some dry wood so that we could cook and the sun came out for a small portion of the afternoon to let us hang some things out to dry, like all the chairs to sit in.
We took a hike one afternoon to the waterfall at the Stone Mountain state park in NC. There were many, many stairs to get to the bottom and it felt like twice as many to get back up to the top again. The next day we found a rock water slide in the creek that ran throughout the park. Almost everyone took a turn sliding down the freezing cold water into the pool below. It was really cold!!! Of course, the standard camping festivities such as smores, family games, bug bites, hot dogs, many trips to the bath house in the middle of the night (especially by me, at 7 months pregnant) were had by all. Enjoy the pictures!

Easter 2009

We had our first Easter here in NC. It was really fun to have my Mom and Mike come to visit us for the holiday weekend. This year the two older girls received bibles as part of their Easter gifts. My mom had picked them out and brought them along with some beautiful purses that matched their Easter dresses perfectly. On Easter Sunday, Emily made her public profession of faith before the congregation, to become a communing member of the church.
For the first time this year we made the Easter tomb cookies on Saturday night. I was fearful that they weren't going to crack and open for Sunday morning. But the kids remembered right away when they awoke and went to the oven to check and see. Thankfully, Christ is risen indeed! the cookies had cracked and were empty inside!

Spring Outing

Yesterday I took the girls back to the Biltmore Estates. I had bought a year pass last April when we made our first trip to NC to visit John. At the time I thought we would take advantage of the day trip more often. But last week I was feeling pressured to go again before it expires next week. I looked at my calender and the weather forecast and there was only one option that worked. And it turned out to be a beautiful day!!!
I took my husband's digital camera on which he takes wonderful pictures. But this is me, we are talking about - and for some reason I have no gifts behind the camera. I have beautiful images and ideas in my head of what I want, but can't seem to get my children or the camera to cooperate with me. I was wanting some fun pictures of the girls in the flower garden - and we did get a few, but next time I will be sure to take Daddy with us!
The girls favorite part, of course, was the new Riverbend Farms at Biltmore. They have a farmyard area where you can pet sheep, goats, a baby cow, chickens, and a bunny rabbit. They also have an area that demonstrates churning butter, and a live blacksmith in action. Emily fell in love with one baby goat in particular and carried it around with her. A fun time was had by all.

zumba momma

Yesterday I had the girls take some pictures of me when I was dressed for zumba. I have conitnued to teach through this pregnancy, which is quite an acomplishment for me. Never before have I exercised during a pregnancy. I usually find it too tiring and uncomfortable, especially during my nauseated first trimester. But this time I have pushed through, even when I would come home sick. I think I wouldn't have done it if exercise were a luxury to me, but at this point it is a JOB! So, no exercies = no money.
I am thankful for the good health and endurance the Lord has provided for me. I am hopeful that this will make the post partum weight loss an easier challenge. My class participants have repeatedly asked me when I will return after the baby is born. I guess that is a good sign that they want me to come back. Lord willingly I will be able to teach again after six weeks of rest.
My last couple of classes I have just now found it hard to move around. No more jumping for me. I almost sprained the arch of my foot last night trying to demonstrate a move and realized that I need to be careful before I take myself completely out. In this mornings 6 a.m. class, I think the baby was trying to kick her way out - as if to say, why couldn't you sleep a little longer!
Pray for me this month, as I do not have a sub lined up to take over until the end of April/ beginning of May. I want to be able to teach as long as I can but am realizing that it is much harder now, than it was even two weeks ago. The count down til delivery has already begun in my head - 3 months, 1 week to go. July seems like a long ways away!!!

Spring Cleaning

Yesterday I was inspired bu my husband who thoroughly cleaned out his car. Of course his car is his office and can get pretty cluttered most of the time. But he brought everything in to neatly reorganize and file into some rubbermaid tubs and crates. He even did some touch-up paint jobs on the sunroof and tail-fin of his little beat up car and installed some new airlift pistols on his hatchback that had not worked since he owned the vehicle.
So today I decided to tackle the job I most dislike - changing out the winter to summer clothes in the closets and drawers. With three girls, I save quite a bit of things to pass down from one child to the next. Of course sometimes a couple of years will lie between when one recieves them. I started with the two youngest girls, whom share a room. Somehow my middle child ended up with a load of clothing for this spring and summer. The youngest was given a few things from some friends, so she is also well stocked for now. My oldest daughter had waited patiently for me to come to her room next, every now and then asking, "Is it my turn yet? was sorely disappointed to find that there were no "new" clothes for her in any of the rubbermaid tubs. You could see the disappointment across her face.
I felt so bad. I tried to explain to her that she is the oldest and there isn't anyone to pass down the clothes to her but that usually she is the one to get new ones. It didn't seem to help and for now, most of her dresser drawers lie empty. So I bought a few summer tops and a pair of shorts online from Old Navy. Hopefully they will arrive in the mail in the next few days. I also happen to know of a box that will soon arrive from her Grammy with some things from her cousin in it.
For now I am done with the project and will work on my own closet later. My back hurts and I'm a bit cranky. I'll save the rest for later.

Patience

Patience is not my specialty! Over the past week we have been scoping out the possiblities of rental homes in the area. Not sure what spurred on this idea exactly, especially so early in the spring. Spring fever - I guess, and it seems that the apartment walls are beginning to close in on us. Ten months in the apartment has gone by fast but is getting old quickly.
So we did the "drive by" over the weekend. Several homes we were able to eliminate with looks from the outside or by the inconvenience of their location. But one stood out in particular. So we called and met a realtor at the house yesterday evening. It was close to perfect. I got really excited about it. It was very spacious with a full basement and many things that suited our family well.
Today John went to the apartment complex office to see what the possibilties of breaking our lease early would be. Well, it was not good news. Bascially we would have to continue to pay the rent here until the end of July. This is really not a doable situation for us.
So now I mourn. I had already not slept well last night - thinking of all the possibilities for this house. I am having a hard time letting it go. I am realizing that I need patience! I could go on and on as to why this house was perfect for us but it doesn't really matter, does it?
I had already told myself that it would happen according to God's will. And that if things didn't fall into place as they would need to, then it wasn't meant to be. But now, why do I find myself wanting to "do what I want to anyways". God doesn't really know what is best for me. Ha, Ha - I sure do have a lot of learning yet to do. I continue to write these posts from time to time and yet I still struggle with the same issues. Lord, please be patient with me as I learn patience!

God is Good!

Today we went as a family to the ultra sound clinic. We had only told the girls that they would get to see pictures of the baby in Mommy's tummy.
We began the visit with a meeting with a genetic counselor. She went into detail about my test results from the AFP screening. The raise for concern came from my protein levels being too high, almost twice the normal level. This meant they were looking for neurological tube disorders, meaning spina bifida. Down syndrome was not of concern.
She explained evertyhing in great detail and I felt very educated. It was nice to understand what was going on or at least understand what they were looking for. She went through the areas they would look for in the ultra sound, which included any leak in the spinal cord, kidneys, baby's urine discretion, and markers such as a "lemon- shaped" head or a "bannana-shaped" brain. Also sometimes club feet are associated with spina bifida. The percentage rate for finding evidence of these things through the ultra sound was very high and that was encouraging.
The ultra sound went well. The baby cooperated with little movement so they were able to look for all the things intended. The doctor came back with positive feedback and said the ultra sound looked good.
I will continue to have to have the baby's growth monitored closely because of the elevated level of proteins, which means more ultra sounds to come. One possible reason for the high levels could be a thin placenta. This would be important to know at a later stage in the pregnancy to make sure the baby is growing and gaining weight. Right now she is estamated to be 14 ounces. Or it could just be the way that my body makes babies - who knows.
Many sighs of relief were let out today. I am so thankful for God's provision for our family. He had certainly given me peace for the situation and I was able to go today with confidence that everything was going to be okay.
I am humbled. I wonder if this is God's way of making me become more intimately connected with this baby inside. I have been more distant this time around. With the recent prayers and concerns for a healthy baby being more important to me as of late it has forced me to think of this child more carefully. I am finally able to accept the addition to the family and value God's gift.
To everyone - thank you for your prayers! Look at the beautiful picture we got today of this little one. Her knees are almost tucked up under her chin. To God be the glory, great things He has done!

Enjoying the springtime weather

This weekend we had great weather, sunny and in the 70s. So we took advantage of getting outside and enjoying it while it lasted. Saturday we went to the local state park and took a hike. When we started out we did not plan on how far we would walk figuring that we would turn around when we wanted too. But mid way we decided to finish the loop which ended up being a good three mile hike. The girls did great and only complained through the last half mile or so. I also packed a cooler with hot dogs and hamburgers to grill. We found a picnic area and ate outside. The girls had brought their scooters and tricycle to ride while dinner was cooking. John and I played a couple hand of cards and had a great time.
Sunday, after church, we bought some cheap kites and took them to the boat launch. We figured the wind would be a little stronger near the lake. And it was. It nearly ripped most of the kites in two - of course, we had bought plastic kites. Our friends who lived nearby, ran back to the house for scotch tape. We repaired ones that had crashed into the concrete and kept them flying for quite a while. Everyone took a turn.
It was a great time to get out and enjoy God's creation and of course take my mind off of other things.

Bad news

Yesterday the new doc called my home. I was suprised by the phone call so in all the info that he gave me, I apologize but I'm a little fuzzy on the details. He began saying that they had gotten my records that had been transferred over from the health dept. Then he went on to tell me that there was some concern over the results of the AFB test that they had given me. Remember the one I was disgruntled over them drawing my blood for? Well something about the neurological something was elavated and they want to send me to a specialist ultra sound techinician - one who is more knowledgable on reading or finding the information they will be looking for in the test. Of course, he finishes with a "don't be too alarmed, yet" statement and that the ultra sound would be very important in finding out more information. We also said mentioned having to come into the office more often to monitor the baby's heart rate especially towards the end of the pregnancy.
Well, what is a mother to do, but worry. I didn't handle the news well at all yesterday. I cried on and off most of the afternoon. In my mind I kept going back to the statement I had given my husband over why I didn't want this test run in the first place which was that it gives too many false positives. But fear and doubt had already set in and I couldn't seem to fight against it. I emailed some close friends and told them to pray, mostly for me, because I was losing it. I know that God has this under control. I don't expect to change the outcome. Yet I have this whole time questioned Him. I really don't think He does know what I can handle - because this is not it!!
This morning I am better. I knew it would take some time to just settle. And yet I have a lump in my throat and swallow back the tears to write this. I guess my biggest struggle is the "why me, Lord, haven't you tested my faith enough this year?" I guess His answer must be, "No I'm still drawing you closer to Me."

Another girl

Today I went to a new doctor. It was a great visit. The office staff was kind, the nurse and doctor were very nice and I got to have a small ultrasound. Ahh, the pleasures of private practice doctors.
For now we will assume that it is indeed another girl. There is no other evidence that offers any other possiblity. I am scheduled to have the real, full-blown, mack-daddy sonogram on March 17th. We will get lots of pictures then and can take the kids to see it and so forth.
I left the doctor's visit a bit dissappointed. In my mind I knew it would be another girl all along, but with the way our life has constantly changed over this past year, there was part of me that thought, just maybe it was going to be a boy this time. I am sad for my husband yet glad that I'm not the wife of a king - you know the books and the movies - the ones that could not conceive a son and then were dismissed. Don't misunderstand me, my husband is a wonderful man and he loves me and our girls dearly. He couldn't be a better father to them. It was just a bunch of emotions running through me all at once.
And then I sat down to write this posting... Do you hear the song playing? For some reason I had trouble getting it to work for my last post about Emily's birthday party. But when I opened the blog today and I heard this song, I realized God had intended it for someone else, or maybe just for me to hear today.
I know that you are God's creation inside me and that He made you exactly who He wanted you to be!

Emily's 7th Birthday

We had a fun time celebrating Emily's birthday this year. It is hard to believe that she is already seven. On Wednesday, her actual birthday, we went to dinner at a local restaurant with a family of friends and Grammy, who was in town visiting for the week. It was a fun time. Then on Saturday we celebrated with some of her friends at the dance studio where she is currently taking lessons. The birthday hostess taught the girls a "birthday dance" and she was wonderful. The kids had a great time dancing, playing games, and of course enjoying cake and ice cream. The slideshow highlights some of the fun that we had.

Sometimes you just need a break

This week I have been in TN visiting family and friends. It has been a renewal that my spirit needed. I was struggling with the winter blahs and burn out on homeschooling. I needed a change of scenery!
The kids have gotten to see many friends and have overnight sleepovers. (We will catch up on rest when we get back home.) They've also been able to spend a lot of time with my mom. I got to have a girls day out with friends to lunch, pedicure and a movie. Something I haven't afforded to pleasure myself with for a long time. We also enjoyed time at our old church on Sunday, Tuesday morning and Wednesday evening. A taste of the old schedule which I have gladly given up. We got to see the organ pieces being carried into the new sanctuary for the extraordinary organ that will soon be assembled at Covenant Presbyterian Church. It was an exciting event and the girls are excited about seeing it completed the next time we visit.
Thank you to my friends who have cared for my children while spending time at their houses! Thank you also to those special friends who have opened their homes to me and provided places for us to sleep! We have had such a great time.
Tomorrow morning we head back home to NC. We will be sad the vacation is over but also excited to see John again, who we have missed on this trip. If ever you need to just get away I highly recommend it. Take a trip to the place you love and see that someone who makes you smile. It will brighten your outlook on life.

My doctor's visit

Today was another trip to the health department for me. I learned my lesson last time and made plans for the kids to be with other people today. My appointment began at 10:45 and I got out of there at five minutes til two. I did however finally see the doctor today! He started with questioning me about the accuracy of my last period. I told him I was quite certain about the dates in October but not so much about the previous one in September. He thought that I seemed to be measuring larger. So the next thing I know I was moved to the room next door for an ultra sound.
The thing you gotta love about the health department is that they do not tell you what is going on. I had no idea I was getting an ultra sound until I walked into the next room and saw the machine. I was immediately excited. Then the doctor comes in and says to me, " so you turned 35 this year".
"Yes, I did", I replied.
"Do you know why this is significant with this pregnancy", he says.
Now I was irritated.
He goes on to ask me if I know what down syndrome is, and did I have any history of birth defects in the family. It was exhausting and I immediately began to pray for peace. Not only for the health of this baby but also for my patience level with this doctor. I declined any further testing but I think they will still test the blood that was drawn from me today.
The good news is that I got to see some pictures of the baby. It was not a typical ultrasound. No explanations. He basically measured the baby's head and then moved my due date up a week acoording to the outcome of the measurement. So I jumped from 16 weeks pregnant to 17 weeks pregnant in a matter of minutes - that was great!
No I did not get to find out the sex of the baby. I did ask if it was possible, but he said probably not without even trying. He did discover another sist about the size of a walnut and said he would recheck it in a couple of months. But honestly I think I will be with another doctor at that point. March 1st cannot come soon enough! (The day our health insurance is reinstated.)
At the end of this all, I do admit that there is a part of me that is somewhat worried about the unknown. But I left there today confident in my Lord and Saviour. He gave me peace and for this I am thankful!

Date Night!

It has been a long time since John and I had had a date night. Something I took for granted when we lived in TN, with family and babysitters to watch the kids most any time. But for Christmas John bought me tickets to the Dancing With the Stars Tour. Included was the arrangement for the children to spend the night with friends which he took care of himself.
We had about an hours drive to Greensboro, dinner at Outback and then off to the Colesium. John had chosen great seats! We were fairly close to the dance floor and stage. The dancers were spectacular, just like the tv show, but much more dancing and costumes. At intermission John saw some people leaving their seats from the red tables surrounding the dance floor. He thought I'll go check and see if they are coming back. He ended up talking to them out in the hall. They were not leaving but said they had two vacant seats at their table that we were welcome to use.
So of course we took them up on it! For the second half of the show we were up close and personal. It was great!
My only regret is that we did not take John's camera. I guess we figured that we would not be allowed to take pictures during the show. But that was not the case, so we captured a few pictures on my pocket size camera that takes halfway decent photos.
It was such a fun night and I hope that I will be able to go again next year. It also made me realize again how important it is to date your spouse now and then. An event he definately planned just for me without thinking of himself. Thank you, my husband, you will always be my best friend!

Snow Day

Two days ago we got a light dusting of snow here. It was supposed to be up to four inches but I think it was only about one. Of course in typical southern style all the schools closed and there was a rush of excitement in the air. We awoke to find that none of the streets were covered but most of the grass. We pulled out the snow boots, hats and mittens and headed out for some play. About the only thing that we could do was to mash the snow into some snowballs and the girls made a couple of snow angels. Of course they didn't understand why it wasn't possible to make a snow man - so hopefully another time.

Growing Pains

It has been seven months now that we have lived in NC. We have made such wonderful friends here. Friday evening we went to the new members class, welcome dinner hosted by our Pastor and family. It was fun. Of course we made a grand entrance as my youngest tripped and busted her lip only minutes after we had been there. John realized that not all PCA men are avid book readers and found himself in some good company. I have befriended another woman who is also new to the church that is due five days before me. This will be her second child. It is always fun to have a friend that is going through some of the same pregnancy issues along side you. And then we also got to know the pastor's family a little more intimately. They have three girls, their youngest being the same age as my oldest. They are a wonderful example to me and their girls are extraordinary.
Yet today I struggle with homesickness. I made sure to write the above paragraph first, so that God would remind me of the wonderful blessings he has put in my life. But I long for familiar faces, voices, my parents and friends.
I have also been sick with a really bad cough for two weeks now. It doesn't seem to be getting better. I cough so hard that I begin to gag. My children worry about me and ask if I'm okay.
I get to this point where I have no motivation. I don't want to do my daily chores or teach my children or fulfill my work responsibilities at the Y. But because of routine, I guess, I keep keeping on.
My prayer tonight is, Lord send me comfort - physically and spiritually. I can only live this life that you have given me, with You.

Today's discoveries

This morning I went to the dentist. I scheduled the appointment the week before Christmas and this was the soonest that I could get in. I was concerned about a filling that chipped. I now feel as if I have a big whole in between two back teeth. They scheduled me to come in for a routine cleaning and said that they would check out the damage while I was there.
Well, I always forget how uncomfortable a cleaning is. I prayed that my pregnancy related gag issues would be calm for the visit. I was doing quite well until I picked up a cough a couple of days ago, yet another inconvenience while going to the dentist office. So yes, the tooth needs a crown. But because I am pregnant and no xrays can be done at this time we don't know for sure if a root canal is needed. Then she was about to send me on my merry way and I was like, "wait, what am I supposed to do about this tooth. I can't wait six more months!!! It's driving me crazy." So she decided to let me come back after my second trimester. Now I have to wait until April. I covet your prayers and suggestions on how I will last until then.
Oh another fun discovery for my day was that I should not eat a can of Pringles chips, though they tasted very good, on an empty pregnant stomach. It ended very badly, losing the chips.

The new songs added to the playlist have been added so you can get a taste of what you'd hear when riding along with our family. The first song, Chicken Fried is one of the family's favorites and is always turned up, with everyone in the van dancing along. Hope you enjoy!
Also feel free to become a follower of this blog. I moved the icon up to the top of the sidebar, just to the right. I always love to know who enjoys checking in from time to time.

Thoughts on a new year

Happy New Year!
I am excited about the beginnings of a new year. Seems like a great time to clean the slate and start anew. I had been struggling from Thanksgiving til Christmas on doing lesson plans, and even doing school work at all with the girls. It was mostly due to the fact that I was sruggling with 1st trimester fatigue and nausea, but I'm hoping to turn a corner and start our new semester off right. I read through some of our history lessons and got excited again. I am now trying to reevaluate the schedule. I get sressed out when everything doesn't get done. That is, the things that I have planned for a day and what actually gets accomplished. So I am going to relax our load of work for Mondays - that seems to be our hardest and busiest day. I've decided to put some of the more time consuming subjects on Tuesdays and Thursdays. These days we have less going on and more of the morning to work at home. My biggest goal is to be more diligent at giving my daughters their piano lessons. Since we moved this has been one thing that has fallen to the waste side. For one, it requires more of my personal time and attention in the afternoons. Why that is so hard, I do not know.
Well, thanks for reading. The one thing that I do know, is that I will not be able to do it on my own, but only through Christ who strengthens me! I pray that your endeavors for this new year are successful and part of the plan that God has laid out for you.