Missing John

We've been without John almost two weeks now. In some ways the time has gone by fast. Our schedule has been very busy. But there definately has been a huge void in our lives for sure.
Sunday mornings are the hardest. While John is not usually extremely helpful with getting the girls ready for church, there are many other things that he does for us on Sundays. For one, it is the traditional Sunday breakfast "on the go". Typically Daddy has always taken the girls to get doughnuts while I am dropped off at church to rehearse music. This is their father - daughters time they spend together each week. And then there is the care giver role that he exudes each week as the parent-in-the-pew. Since I am with the music team for a big portion of the service, he has always been the one to sit with the children, keeping them on task and behaving nicely. I can already tell a difference with the younger ones when Daddy is not around. And the numerous other things, like carrying our bags, picking up children from Sunday school (I have forgotten #3 both times now), standing in line to order lunch at Wendy's and so forth. I never realized how much help he was on Sundays!
The girls have all had at least one break down now. The saddest one was the other night when we came home late. My four year old had fallen asleep in the van. I had to wake her to have her walk inside while I was carrying the sleeping baby. She got inside alright, entered our den where a family portrait hangs above the mantel and began balling. I rushed back in the room after putting the baby in her crib, thinking she was hurt or something. She pointed to the picture and said, "Daddy's not here". I wanted to laugh and cry with her at the same time. I thought it was so sweet. She knew daddy would normally have carried her to bed.
We have used the video texting on our cell phones more now than ever before. The girls will send little messages to John and he will send a short video of himself back. This has been fun for them and quite entertaining. Thank goodness for unlimited texting!
The good news is that we miss each other. It puts a longing in our hearts to be together again. The girls have already said, I wish I was in Inidiana. Sometimes I remind them that we want to make the most of our time here, with their special friends. But it also gives me a satisfying feeling that the Lord gives us a desire to go. Instead of crying over what we are loosing, we look ahead at what is too come.

5 days down

Well, we have made it through five days now without John here. We have stuck to the routine of life with our school schedule and PE, soccer practices, piano lessons, church activities and so forth. We miss him. The girls don't say too much about it. I think the older girls internalize their feelings more than the younger ones. They have both cried more over silly things this week than they usually do. In fact one daughter told me this morning that she just felt like crying and didn't know why. I told her it was because she didn't want to do her spelling assignment and to get busy! (I know I'm so syampathetic.)
Last night at bedtime my 4 yr old asked me if daddy was going to kiss her goodnight when she lived in Indiana. I told her, of course he would tuck her in and kiss her goodnight EVERY night in Indiana. And in the mornings when I bring the baby to bed with me, because she's awake and I'm not quite ready to get up, she will look around the room and into the bathroom as if to say, "where's daddy?"
Right now I think it is harder on John to be alone though. He has no satelitte or cable service at the house yet, no internet, and no one to talk too. He will call and wonder what all the racket is in the background. Just the kids playing. He says he forgot how noisy it is at the house and that he probably won't be able to hear all the highway traffic coming and going when we finally arrive there. Something to look forward too, I guess.

Packing and Purging

Today I focused on getting the den, "picture presentable". In our current house we have this wonderful built-in book case/ counter top system. It is great for storage and for knick knack displays, pictures and so forth. But a realtor is coming to take pictures of the house on Wednesday afternoon. The owner is putting the house on the market to sell. So they want to take some indoor and outdoor photos for the listing. So today I cleared the den of personal things and boxed them up.
I panicked a little at first when the realtor called because the house is no where near picture ready. We had just torn the place up over the weekend getting the things John needed to take with him to IN, so the place was a wreck. The girls and I cleaned up a bit and I tried to focus on the rooms that they would most likely want pictures of. By Wednesday we should have things in decent shape.
Yesterday I took about 10 bags of clothing and shoes to Goodwill. I normally save all the girls things and pass them down from one kid to the next. But lately I have found that even my second born who only gets one set of hand-me-downs has way too many clothes! You buy a couple of new things each season and then that ends up being the only set of clothes the child will wear anyways so why am I saving these clothes? Well, not any more! I decided to only save the special items or nice church clothes and such. No more tshirts and play clothes will be passed down.
It as amazing how much space I freed up in our closets and plastic bins! This is an important factor right now because where we are headed has very limited closet and storage space. I am trying to limit the amount of things we take with us this time. There were too many boxes that came with us from TN that were never opened or used. No need in carrying them around with us anymore.
I found it amusing though. As I was going thru things my kids would ask me if I was making a pile for the garage sale. You see in the past we would always have a big garage sale and get rid of a bunch of things. I laughed - no garage sale this time. Just give it away. The girls were upset, they wanted to have a garage sale. They used to complain when I would sell their stuff - now they are the ones who want to do it. Oh Lord, I've created little mini-me monsters.

Back Pains

Today we are trying to load John's truck with the furniture he will need while there alone. I have been having some back trouble this week and last night it flared up again. I can barely walk. Clara Bea cries for me to hold her but the pain is too much for me to carry her. I can only hold her while sitting down right now.
So I haven't been much help to John while he has tried to load the truck with a dresser, mattresses, bed, table and chairs. I can really only watch.
I am a bit nervous about his departure at this point. I have canceled my zumba classes for today and tomorrow, hoping for some improvement over the weekend.The girls have been helpful in picking up their sister and carrying her from here to there (even Kelsey likes to help). But I'm scared that I won't be able to do it without him. Along with an aching back I am also struggling with a sinus infection. These have been by far, the worst sinus headaches I have ever experienced. Of course, to top off this great week it is also my "time of the month". So quite literally, I hurt from head to toe and everything in between. When it rains, it pours!
I guess I am mostly struggling with fears. I am not confident that the Lord will take care of my every need at this point. I don't understand why we always get sick when we are of course without health insurance once again. I don't want to be alone. I don't want to do this again.

Beginning details of the move

Today John called the utilities in IN to make sure he would have water, electrcity, and gas hooked up and ready to go when he arrives this weekend. I guess it made this process seem a little more real today. No longer are we just talking about it but doing it now. He will leave on Saturday with as many things loaded down in the back of his pick up truck as he can handle. He is moving straight into the rental house that we will be living in when we all get there. It is a seven room house, about 1650square feet, two bedrooms, kitchen, dining, den, bonus rec room, and get this - ONE BATHROOM! LOL Yes a family of six is moving into a one bathroom house with one toilet! John and I even had a two bathroom apartment when we got married, so this will be the first time that we have all had to share a bathroom in our entire marriage. We might have to invest in a port-a-potty that sits in the garage. There is by the way a double garage and a full unfinished basement to the house, so there should be room for storage. Only other draw back is there is no dish washer - guess who gets a new chore added to their lists?

Field Trip

The girls and I took a three day field trip to Williamsbrug, VA. We had a great time visiting Colonial Williamsburg, Jamestown, and the York Victory Center. We traveled with some of our dear friends and took advantage of all three days, practically using every minute from the opening to closing. I highly recommend this trip to any homeschool family that hasn't been before or for that matter anyone interested in history itself. It really made the time of early America come alive for us. I think I missed my Dad the most on this trip, wishing he could be experiencing it with us. Pictures of the trip are coming to the blog soon!