Patience

Patience is not my specialty! Over the past week we have been scoping out the possiblities of rental homes in the area. Not sure what spurred on this idea exactly, especially so early in the spring. Spring fever - I guess, and it seems that the apartment walls are beginning to close in on us. Ten months in the apartment has gone by fast but is getting old quickly.
So we did the "drive by" over the weekend. Several homes we were able to eliminate with looks from the outside or by the inconvenience of their location. But one stood out in particular. So we called and met a realtor at the house yesterday evening. It was close to perfect. I got really excited about it. It was very spacious with a full basement and many things that suited our family well.
Today John went to the apartment complex office to see what the possibilties of breaking our lease early would be. Well, it was not good news. Bascially we would have to continue to pay the rent here until the end of July. This is really not a doable situation for us.
So now I mourn. I had already not slept well last night - thinking of all the possibilities for this house. I am having a hard time letting it go. I am realizing that I need patience! I could go on and on as to why this house was perfect for us but it doesn't really matter, does it?
I had already told myself that it would happen according to God's will. And that if things didn't fall into place as they would need to, then it wasn't meant to be. But now, why do I find myself wanting to "do what I want to anyways". God doesn't really know what is best for me. Ha, Ha - I sure do have a lot of learning yet to do. I continue to write these posts from time to time and yet I still struggle with the same issues. Lord, please be patient with me as I learn patience!