Bad news

Yesterday the new doc called my home. I was suprised by the phone call so in all the info that he gave me, I apologize but I'm a little fuzzy on the details. He began saying that they had gotten my records that had been transferred over from the health dept. Then he went on to tell me that there was some concern over the results of the AFB test that they had given me. Remember the one I was disgruntled over them drawing my blood for? Well something about the neurological something was elavated and they want to send me to a specialist ultra sound techinician - one who is more knowledgable on reading or finding the information they will be looking for in the test. Of course, he finishes with a "don't be too alarmed, yet" statement and that the ultra sound would be very important in finding out more information. We also said mentioned having to come into the office more often to monitor the baby's heart rate especially towards the end of the pregnancy.
Well, what is a mother to do, but worry. I didn't handle the news well at all yesterday. I cried on and off most of the afternoon. In my mind I kept going back to the statement I had given my husband over why I didn't want this test run in the first place which was that it gives too many false positives. But fear and doubt had already set in and I couldn't seem to fight against it. I emailed some close friends and told them to pray, mostly for me, because I was losing it. I know that God has this under control. I don't expect to change the outcome. Yet I have this whole time questioned Him. I really don't think He does know what I can handle - because this is not it!!
This morning I am better. I knew it would take some time to just settle. And yet I have a lump in my throat and swallow back the tears to write this. I guess my biggest struggle is the "why me, Lord, haven't you tested my faith enough this year?" I guess His answer must be, "No I'm still drawing you closer to Me."