I'm energized!

Finally, it feels like I've been dragging along for a while now. I'm not sure what it is exactly, probably our schedule. I usually feel better when my days are planned out. I know, that's weird isn't it? I guess it is the feeling of accomplishment. When I know that I've accomplished what I set out to do and I can even check it off "the list".
Now that the girls are doing their studies and I have had to work on lesson plans, I feel compelled to "plan out" every other aspect of my life. I love calenders! I like to know what is ahead and mark every detail into each little box. I have also had time to work on my zumba choreography again! It has been a long time since I have had the energy or desire to put together another set. I guess this has been one source that has given me that extra bit of umph.
Anyhow, I'm ready to go! Today I feel like I could conquer the world but tomorrow may be another story.

Say what you mean, and mean what you say!

Today has been rough. We received an offer on our house late last night. You would think that this would send a rush of excitement through my soul but I think at this point I am pretty guarded with my emotions. The offer was quite low, in fact 14,000 dollars less than our asking price. We also put out a bounty to all the buying realtors, for a bonus of $2,500 when the house closes. We also recently spent another $2,100 on brand new carpet in the house. So all this to say that we are loosing money fast! After John and I talked it through, we realized we did not have much choice but to accept whatever we could. We tried counter offering but in the end, it seems that we ended up right were they had started.
SO,how do I feel about this? Well, I've hit about every possible emotion one could have over the situation. But mostly I've been angry. I just couldn't accept that this is the plan God has for us. Until the Holy Spirit began to work in my heart this morning.
It started with the girls' Bible lesson this morning. We were reading about the story of Noah and the rainbow. I was explaining to them that God gave us the rainbow as a covenant, a promise that he would never forsake us. Then we decided to sing some songs at the piano. We sang "O Be Careful Little Eyes" to teach it to Kelsey. Then we sang the verse, "O be careful little mind what you think...for the Father up above is looking down in love..." WOW! I couldn't have more convicted at that moment.
Later in the morning I was on a phone call with John, he was filling me in on the details of the upcoming contract. I was reminded (not by him, but by yet again the Holy Spirit's nudging) that I told him before we moved that I was willing to come, even if it meant starting over again. You've got to be kidding me. Did I really tell him that? Wasn't that just one of those things you say to a person you love, but not sure if you really mean it?
Well, I'm not sure if I really did mean it when I said it, but funny how it turns out, isn't it? It's kind of like that southern hospitality thing. Someone offers you a gesture of kindness and you at first turn it down, hoping they will ask you yet once more. All this to say, that I feel like the Lord is teaching me to say what I mean, and really mean it when I say it! I am sure there are many other things the Lord is teaching me right now as well, I just haven't fully realized them yet.

Friends

Leading up to our move, there were several references made to "the importance of friends". One was by our pastor, who preached a sermon and talked about the friendship between David and Jonathan and how valuable this friednship was. This was one of the last sermons I heard at our previous church and it really tore me up. I began to question our motives for moving. Maybe friends and family were enough. Maybe we shouldn't be moving away from such a wealth of people that we had around us. Also I considered my children and the friendships they have made. My six year old who really connected to two sweet girls in her kindergarten class begged us not to move away. This was one of those times when I didn't know if it was the devil trying to flood my mind with resistance or was it true knowledge that I should consider.
Now I can step away from those feelings. I really miss our friends in Tennessee. But I still long for the people that I would see on a weekly basis. I never realized how just seeing someone's face was a comfort. Some of this I have been able to cope with by keeping up with friends through facebook. Hearing about a person's day, or seeing a new picture they posted, doesn't make me feel so far away. They seem to be right around the corner or at least a click away on the mouse.
But through this all God has also provided for us. John and I aren't very outgoing, at least at meeting new people. (I know some of you question this, but it's true.) It took us many years to make friendships at Covenant (our previous church). Here in NC we have had two families that have already reached out to us and taken us in. The Hamelinks and the Larsons have been our lifeline. I praise God for providing just what we need. He knew that I wouldn't last long without Godly women to talk too. And not just anyone - the perfect match in character, interests, goals. I can also see how God is providing for my children, sweet friends who love the Lord and are obedient to their parents. And could Anna have asked for anything more? A friend who also shares the love of horses and animals!

God is good!

Okay just when you least expect it, that is when the blessings come in. I went to a training last night for a curriculum that I will be using this year to school my kids. I had tried to buy the kit online and the credit card was declined. I tried to buy the book used, at a local bookstore, and there was none. I was supposed to be doing some prereading in the text before showing up at this class. I emailed a friend to let her know that I was unable to get the book ahead of time and should I still plan on coming. She contacted the instructor and approved it with her and said she would have the core kit available for me to purchase when I got there. So I went. When I received my materials I grabbed my check book from my purse and walked up to the instructor to introduce myself. I told her I was new to the area and thank you for letting me come at the last minute. I asked her for the amount I needed to make the check for and she said, "oh no, that's okay". I repeated myself thinking she had misunderstood me. She said again, "no that is an extra one that is just lying around and no one is using. You can have it".
I almost started crying right then. I was so embarrassed and yet shocked at the same time. How did she know that I needed this so badly? I probably thanked her four or five times before I sat down. But I instantly knew that God was using her for my benefit.
My eyes are open. I can begin to see the littlest things that God does for me each day! For me, this was huge, but in perspective to this world and everyone else in it, it was little. I think it's God's way of telling me, don't worry - I've got everything under control.

Anxious

Today the day has started off badly. I wake up to Kelsey lying in the bed with me, which she has done for the past few nights. She has been running a fever for two days now and this morning has broken into an awful rash. She's burning up. I hate it when my kids are sick!
My next action was to walk into the kitchen. Before I'm fully awake yet, the phone rings loudly.I grab it quickly as to not wake up my still sleeping two year old. It was another creditor. Yes, we've started to received the dreaded calls. Of course they want you to commit to a payment over the phone. I almost want to laugh (maybe in replace of crying) because I honestly have no idea when I can pay them. They have no idea what we are going through, not that it is their fault, they're just doing their job.
This makes me remember back to when John and I first moved into our house. We had our first child and I was going to quit working, but then everything seemed to come crashing down on us. We had overextended ourselves financially. I had to jump back into a teaching position two days before school started. There were other hardships along the way and it took a few years but we made it out of that slump.
I guess what I had taken for granted recently is that we were in good place, financially speaking. I used to think that we had nothing and all our friends could afford so much more. But guess what, we could at least make ends meet at the end of a month and there was something left over. We could eat out, or go to a movie, get a haircut, or simply stop for at Target. I'm realizing that I was never thankful for this. How could I have not known that I was blessed!
I guess my point is that you really don't know what nothing is until you've had nothing. My fear in saying this is that it could get worse. But I honestly feel like I'm already there. I'm calling out to God, "please rescue me! I'm sorry for being so ungrateful for the little things in life. Thank you for my health and my family and all the blessings you give me without my even knowing." Does He hear me?

Trip Taken

We went to Tennesse to visit friends and family this past week. One last trip before the rush of our school year begins. While we were there, the kids got to spend lots of time with their favorite friends. I got to spend some time with my mom and also dinners and lunch dates with friends as well. We had a wonderful time. It almost didn't feel like we had even gone yet. It was too soon to feel the move had happened.
I thought this trip was going to really give me the spiritual boost I was looking for. But the longer I was there, the more I realized, only God can give me the happiness and contentment that I desire. It will not be provided to me by my friends or family members. This made the departure easier. I was finally ready to go home (back to NC) and get on with my life. No more waiting or wishing that summer would last forever. It is time to move forward.
So today is a new day. I am making plans for our school year. Trying to get the apartment in order and things ready to roll is my goal for this week.

The Beach, just what the doctor ordered!

Our new dear friends invited us to the beach. We were a little leary at first because after all, when someone invites you on vacation with them that's a big step in a relationship. Well, we decided that what the heck, we would go for the weekend.
The family that invited us had access to a beautiful house in Pawleys Island. Along with us, they also had another family coming. There were three families in all - 6 adults and 12 children. It was great!
I was having so much fun that they convinced me to stay for the week. John went back to work until Wednesday and then met me again for the later part of the week. We played on the beach, at the pool, at the local community lake where we went fishing, and of course plenty of trips to enjoy ice cream. The funnest part was that they rented two golf carts for getting around the private community. This was the kids and the adults favorite part. All the children got along well with each other and the adults would stay up late each night playing games and laughing.
I cannot express to you how huge of a blessing this was for our family. We were able to laugh and play and really bond with new friends. We felt like we've known these families now our whole lives and it's only been a couple of months.