A lot has happened since my last post, and even before that of which I was totally unaware. This will be my last post to conclude this blog as we have known it "Life since the Move". Because I have moved yet again and the title seems to be haunting me. I had no idea that when I started this blog I would end up moving to 4 different locations within the last 2 1/2 years. I'm tired of moving and feel as though this may not be the last house in which I live, it will remain the last city in which I continue to raise a family. And for that reason I rejoice even though the circumstances which brought me here were unfortunate.
On Saturday morning, December 4th I confronted my husband with questions of his faithfulness. To my surprise his answer confirmed my feelings that something was horribly wrong. He answered with facts that our marriage was not what it had seemed for over the last 1 1/2 years. He denied his love for me and said our marriage was over.
I was utterly devastated. The presence of darkness had filled our house for sometime and it became evident that John's eyes were blinded by sin. I begged and pleaded for him to change his mind. But Satan had a tight hold on him. I decided that I could make it through the next couple of days without going public with this information. My daughter's 5th birthday was the very next day. My older three had a school performance following that and plus it was their daddy's birthday in four days - I couldn't leave.
On Tuesday, December 7th I posted a status update on my facebook wall that caught the attention of many. Some had no idea what was going on and they just started to pray. Others called me right away. The news was now out! God's army was marching towards Lynnville, IN. Some of you reading now were the voices that God heard that day. Thank you for your support and your faithfulness to prayer. Because already God had started working a miracle.
The girls and I left Indiana on Thursday, December 9th and we didn't return for three weeks. We spent time in Tennessee and North Carolina visiting friends and family. Christmas we spent with our dear friends in North Carolina. It was a sad time - wondering if things would ever be the same again. A time of abandonment, sorrow, anger, grief, and sickness. But through it all God was present. I knew that my life was still in His hands.
While the girls and I were away, John was convicted of his sin. He sought out help and counsel and got himself to a safe place. During this time of seperation, God revealed to John the void that he had in his life. All he needed to truly be happy in this world was Jesus. What a wonderful Christmas sermon it was. Christ came to this earth for us.
We have moved back to Franklin, TN - my home town. We are starting over again. For the last three years we have been chasing success, happiness, and the material things of this world thinking it would bring us contentment. But all we really need is Jesus. The journey has led us back to where we started. We have so much to be thankful for here. John and I are going through some intense counseling. John is also attending SA meetings for his recovery. We are planning on attending some workshops to repair our marriage and ourselves. We have such good church leadership, friends and family that are supporting us along the way.
I have decided to close this blog. I think it is partially a way for me to close this chapter of my life. I want to move forward from here with the pain left behind. Yes I will have scars in the future but I am certain that they will only show themselves as a way for me to minister the Glory of God to others.
Thank you for reading. I am entertaining the idea of opening a new blog in the future and at that point I will post a link to the new one.
May the Lord bless you and keep you and make His face shine upon you and give you peace.
4 comments:
wow, Jennifer, i'm sure that was a difficult post to write, yet therapeutic at the same time. i've been praying for you since that day and continue to pray for you, John, and your girls. i PRAISE THE LORD for the change in Johns heart and hope the process of healing and restoration can continue.
WOW.....GREAT post! I kow it must have been hard, but I am proud of you for closing this chaprter of your life and looking on HIM for your comfort. I iwll contiue to pray for you and your dear family. I love you so much friend!
I have said it before and I will say it again.....I think that your "life since the move" was more for saving others than it was for yourself. I know that God brought you into my life when I needed someone the most and He fulfilled a prayer through you. Thank you for your obedience to His call. I am rejoicing with our Father over the recent victories in your life. I pray they continue for a long time. I do hope you will start a new blog....and I look forward to reading it! :)
Oh Jennifer my heart just breaks for you. I'm so sad I just found your blog and looked forward to sharing running stories. I know God can help you. I know He can bring healing. I know He can bring joy. I know these things because I have experienced it and He is a faithful God. Understand He is right in this battle with you, you are not without His intimate care and knowledge of every hurt and disappointment. I have learned as the sword of affliction works its purpose in my life that it is so much bigger than what I could see. God is interested in the heart and is zealous for holiness to work itself out in both of your lives. In the end I pray you will know He is worth it and glorify Him. My prayers are with you.
Jennifer, your blog is so beautifully written and reflects the hope that is ours in Christ Jesus! What a tribute to God and the power of "the effectual fervent prayer of the righteous"! You are overcoming the evil one by the blood of the Lamb and the word of your testimony! Rev. 12:11 We love you all so much -- each one -- and are in awe of all that God has done.
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