As if the last few months have not had as many ups and downs as I could handle, this past week has been an emotional roller coaster. With our recent news of finding out I was pregnant we were actually innocently happy. All things seemed to be going our way. We found out that we had a possible "contract in the making" on our house and things were good.
Until Monday.
I began spotting that morning. The realty company called to notify me of another showing. I was confused. I thought we were under contract. All in one day I was hit with possibly losing the baby and losing the contract on the house.
Well, the contract on the house did fall through.
I started having cramps and a period. Didn't know what was going on.
Each day was getting worse. In my mind I resolved that I was having a miscarriage.
John and I decided it was for the best. He had also found out (on Monday) that the full health care coverage was not going to kick in, in October (the six month wait) like we had originally thought, but that they wouldn't make any changes to our plan until the new fiscal year. So the bad news seemed better when I decided I wasn't pregnant.
BUT, the next day I took another pregnacy test just to be sure. IT's still Positive!
What the heck. This is my fourth pregnacy. This has never happened to me before! What in the world is going on with my body?
Today I decided that I would see an OB/GYN. Well, you can't get an appointment with any new physicians around here plus with our current insurance situation it was only going to be around $400.
So I have swallowed my pride. I looked up the local health department on the internet. I will be going to the Iredell county health dept on Wednesday morning to take yet another pregnacy test so that they can tell me I'm pregnant. Hopefully, this will lead to a referal to the prenatal clinic.I realize that I'm selfishly glad that no one here knows me. That way I won't be embarassed to run into anybody that I may know. I guess I haven't lost my pride after all.
Yes, my life is an emotional rollercoaster of highs and lows right now. Why am I on this ride? I guess it's to make me realize that the only one in life I can truely trust in right now is my Lord and Savior.
2 comments:
Jennifer,
I have been reading your blog for the past couple of weeks since I found out that you were a "blogger". I have loved getting updates on the Shands so that we know how life is going for you all in NC. It sounds like this week has been a test of your faith and that you are right where God wants you to be... trusting in Him. It is the times that we are most out of our comfort zones that we can see His provision and focus on Him. I will pray for your appt. tomorrow and know that God has gone before you as you walk in those doors.
We miss the Shands!
Kristen and Tony
Hey, Jennifer, It's JeRee. Now do you want your maternity clothes back:) That is such exciting news. I couldn't help but put myself in your shoes as you saw that positive sign. I can only imagine the emotions you felt. It is such a blessing and probably just what you were missing. I hope, for John, that it is a boy, he will for sure throw you for a loop. But if it is another girl, she already has a troup of princesses to look up too. Congrats, JeRee
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